In the spirit of my decision to be more helpful in 2007, I think we should assist the fools who write spam email titles. I know, I know. They suck...we hate them...they clog our email boxes up with crap. But clearly they didn't graduate from junior high...they can't put together a coherent FRAGMENT, much less a sentence...and it's probably the only job they can get. Spam might be less annoying if it's grammatically correct, spell checked, and somewhat entertaining.
Ok, probably not. But here are just a few examples of stupid emails titles I have received this week. These people need help.
- pacesetter homicidal
- historical legal ethical political
- Be sure to read the related article, Stupid yoga tricks: let's all copyright ancient yoga postures.
- cwmino
- swinging
- Some TV shows also have a free space for that.
- Amusing perhaps, but not very efficient if you are after some specific color changing water pipe information.
- DABB DBBB DCBB
- Mac check this.
- Greetings Sergio
- I don't, and I have very little desire to even try (This is the only one I even took a peek at...they almost had me!)
So, here are a few ideas I came up with...I am pretty sure I would at least look at an email with one of these titles:
- The affair your spouse is having
- Great Aunt Bee has passed...you are in her will
- Sorry about your cat
- I can introduce you to George Clooney
- Top Secret...you can't tell anyone!
- Update on that STD
- I have magic pills that will make your penis larger (LOL...kidding!)
Ok, your turn. What title would make you open an email?
10 comments:
You mean besides "From Rhonda," right? Okay sorry, I was never a suck-up in school so I'm still trying to work through all that.
Seriously though... I opened one (okay three) because the subject said "CONGRATULATIONS! Your Winning Notice!!" And another: "Do you sleep well?" but I think that was more because the sender's name was Mail Daemon.
"I'm holding your iPod for ransom"
"I'm holding your laptop for ransom"
"The pictures you thought your ex-boyfriend destroyed"
My fav-o-day was this, "Did you get the Christmas presents I sent from Lorena?"
It doesn't matter if I never met Lorena, if she's got presents for me I'm interested.
p.s. I love peas!
When Compulsive said "Lorena" I immediately thought of Lorena Bobbitt--so a Christmas present from her would really make me wonder.
I think something along the lines of "I know what you did last summer" would be funny enough for me to open it. I'd probably think, "What, you have pictures of me surfing the web at work? Napping? Napping at work while surfing the web?"
Do you know what your kids are doing?
My husband suggests "The Holy Grail::Hidden Scenes!!!" I might open that too, but purely to inform him of any scenes I assure you...I mean you can only have one totally geek in the family right? Right??? Oh no...
Licking the toad::You need this information
Sense and Sensibility the Animated Series (that's another hubby suggestion, giving credit - read blame - where credit is due.)
My New Baby Pictures
My New Puppy Pictures
I Know What You Did Last Summer....
You Have Just Won The "Twinkies For A Lifetime" Grand Prize Sweepstakes!
Lose Weight Now Without Diet Or Exercise! ( oh wait, I already get a ton of these)
Apparently "ISOLATED SNOW SHOWERS BEGINNING LATER." will make me open spam. I was curious how they were going to make that happen in Houston!
I'd respond to, "Dude, open this f*@*ing message."
Those are all great! Here is one I received today from the sender "News Service"...Mom charged with stabbing kids. Wha?! Of course it was just a spam for the hottest stock quote of the day. Thank goodness!
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