Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I am still playing with the design, and half of the buttons and features aren't working yet, but I have big plans -- that someday I might actually act on. ;)
Please come on over and check it out! A new WTF? Wednesday will be up tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I too have certain body parts that I find attractive, but I don't think FB is the place to post 50 pictures of men's whatevers. I wanted to send him an email that said "This isn't FetishBook, it's Facebook, which means I want to see faces, not asses." But I just ignored the request instead. And then I started thinking about those 27 people who were not at all bothered. Did they just accept without looking at his profile? I'm no prude, but am I really the only person who finds that creepier than a 10 foot paper mache head?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Ricky Martin came out today
This is going to KILL my friend Jeanne, who has been insisting he was not gay for about 12 or 13 years now. And the best part, today is her birthday. LOL
Men are getting weirder
At lunch, a coworker revealed that several men she has met online (3 or 4 in row) lied about their age. When did the tables turn? I didn't think men were subjected to ageism. The crazy part is that it was only by a few years (39 instead of 43). What the hell difference does that make?
I love Joe Biden's F-bomb
I know it's not appropriate to cuss on TV, but clearly that part was an accident. Doesn't anyone find it refreshing that the vice president turned into a normal dude for one second and really enjoyed the enormity of the situation he was in? I think it totally rocks.
And now for the serious bit
I found out over the weekend that someone I used to date was killed in a rather horrific way. The thing that has me stumbling around in my emotions, is that this person was a total ass. He lied to me about being married, led me on for months, and basically broke my silly little 25-year-old heart. So while it made me sad when I heard, and I find it very tragic, and I am incredibly sorry for his children, I didn't even shed a tear. And now I feel really, REALLY guilty for that.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Dan ALWAYS come up with these weird-ass sayings and claims that everyone has heard them except for me. On an average week, a few hundred of you stop by, so please take 5 seconds and answer the poll.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
This sign comes from a fancy sushi restaurant:
So the question is -- did someone really go to the most expensive sushi restaurant in town, head to the ladies room and decide to do pull-ups or something equally as stupid from this bar, and then break it/pull it out of the wall/crack their head open/or something equally as stupid? Because I don't think you put up a sign like that "just in case."
As I was shopping for Easter basket stuff this past weekend, I came across these. I know, it's probably quite telling that my mind went straight to the gutter, but do these look really PHALLIC to anyone else?
It took me a full minute to put the whole ear of corn thing together. (Because I was totally mesmerized and didn't bother to even read it. HA)
And finally, a WTF find from Sam's Club. I haven't bought any Boone's Farm in over 20 years, but I am fairly certain it costs at least $3.00 a bottle. WTF kind of nasty wine only costs $2.91?
This entire week has been filled with WTF moments, but some of the most entertaining have been from the rodeo (I'm volunteering this year), so expect a recap next week. Rodeo WTF is a whole new ballgame, folks!
P.S. Totally forgot to congratulate my friend Kim on her BIG WIN at my 9th annual Oscar bash. She won the Golden Biatch by a landslide. The Biatch had some major "work" done this year, so she is looking hotter than ever, especially in her new dress holding her very own little Oscar statue. (And she's completely recovered from her near death experience thanks to a certain Deucebag!) I'm sure Kim will put her in a place of honor for the next 12 months.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
WTF is up with my cat? Deuce (or Deucebag, as Scarlett calls him) isn't even a year old, and he has already become a complete lazy ass. I took two photos so you would believe me when I tell you that this cat can't be bothered to stand or even sit up to eat. He just lays on the counter and throws his head into the bowl.
Monday, February 22, 2010
- Promotion at work (celebrated for two days)
- Third annual trip to Lake Austin Spa with my BFF from high school (also bought ridiculously expensive purse at Gucci outlet to celebrate promotion - traumatized self for a week)
- Rock Band slumber party with closest friends. Partied til 4 a.m.
- Fell deathly ill with a flu/strep throat/sinusitis combo the next day (SuperBowl Sunday - missed the party!) and had to stay quarantined in my bedroom for NINE LONG DAYS (so the hubby and kiddos wouldn't get sick)
- Tried to play catch up at work and home for three days
- Went to the Mom 2.0 Summit last Friday and Saturday - had a blast!
And one of the major highlights was --- riding in the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile! I rode "shotbun" around downtown Houston, waving at people and acting like a rock star. If you ever get the opportunity, I suggest you take it. Nothing puts a smile on your face like riding in a wiener.
I convinced Amanda (PR maven and new partner in crime) to go along for the ride!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
For example, Bar 1400 has these signs hanging in every bathroom stall. The bathroom manager was either a kindergarten teacher or a technical writer in his/her previous career. Just an FYI - anyone who is old enough to be in a bar probably knows how to use a effing toilet seat cover. I don't need tone in the toilet. Especially not when I am buzzed -- it pisses me off. No pun intended.
Even my four year old has tone recently. Last week I came home from work and she was standing at the door waiting for me:
Anabella: HI MOMMY!
Me: Hey baby. I missed you! How was your day?
Anabella: You forgot to pack my ballerina clothes.
Me: Oh no. I am so sorry, Anabella. I promise to remember next time.
Anabella: That's okay, mommy. Accidents happen. (pauses) But you need to focus. (turns and leaves)
I just stood there completely dumbfounded. Then, in my head, the tirade began ..."WHAT? I need to focus? Ummm, okay, kid. Clearly you have no idea who does everything in your life. This happy little family train you ride on would have derailed a long time ago if it wasn't for me."
Dan smiled and said something about how cute she was. I flipped him off and went straight to the bathtub.The very next day, I call Ticketmaster to buy tickets for the Black Eyed Peas. (I'm on a rodeo committee this year, so we had the chance to buy before they went on sale to the public.) It quickly became clear that finding four seats wasn't going to happen ...
Ticketmaster douche: The Black Eyed Peas are a very popular group, ma'am.
Me: Yes, I know. Which is why I was hoping to get tickets ...
Ticketmaster douche: (clearly not listening to me) ... they are a hip-hop, R&B group. They have a lot of hit songs. They are very popular.
Me: I KNOW who they are. Why do you think I am calling for tickets?
Ticketmaster douche: Oh. Well then you shouldn't be surprised that they are sold out.
Me: These tickets aren't on sale to the public yet, so why wouldn't I think there might be some left?
silence...Me: Good thing I am taking that survey at the end of this call.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Christmas 2009 -- in numbers:
1 - Days I've been at work since 12/18 (two half-days)
2 - Movies seen (Avatar and Up in the Air -- both good!)
3 - Presents I bought for myself
4 - Number of days I had to shop for all of my gifts
5 - Play dates Anabella had last week (good thing we like the same people)
6 - Bags of trash at curb on 12/26 (sorry, environment!)
20+ - Times Anabella took something away from Scarlett the two weeks I was at home
1 - Times Scarlett bit Anabella on the BUTT for doing it (on Christmas day no less)
P.S. Did you notice the new blog banner? I think it's funny, but one of my coworkers (and the guy who drew the coffee mug) says it's disgusting. Thoughts?