Wednesday, August 27, 2008

"What the F*ck?" Wednesday

I received this letter in the mail with my August water bill. You are more than welcome to click on the image to get a full-size, readable version, but let me sum it up for you.

Dear People who use water in Pearland --
Over FIVE months ago we started putting some crappy chemical in your water supply that will kill your fish. It will also kill you if you have kidney problems and use a dialysis machine. Good luck with that.


The Dumbasses who run The City of Pearland

WTF? So, I am now curious how many fish and/or people have died so far...and what idiot didn't think it was important to send this out, oh I don't know, maybe BEFORE they made the change?

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm not sure, but...

...I think my company may know something we don't know.

These hand sanitizers magically appeared at every entry way recently. And I just noticed that my badge has an Avian Flu/Pandemic hotline on the back.


Friday, August 22, 2008

I am so f*cking OVER you...


I don't know what the deal is, but this is the second pair of shoes that has crapped out on me at work. (I've only been working for 31 days!)

Last time, the heel came off, and the strap was attached in between the heel and the sole, so I was walking around barefoot until lunchtime. Today, I am just making a very loud "THAP THAP THAP" noise as I walk the halls...unless I carefully slide my foot without lifting it up. (But then people might think I am making fun of the handicapped, so I should probably stop that.)

I attempted to glue my shoe back together, but all I managed to do was glue the bottom of my pants to the top half of my shoe. TGIF.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

"What the F*ck?" Wednesday

I have my first major complaint since being back in the Corporate world. There is some inconsiderate nincompoop sitting in a cube far, far away, that insists on popping their gum at random times during the day.

WTF, coworker? Surely you know how annoying that is. Surely you realize we can ALL hear you. Surely you are pissing off the people who sit within the vicinity of your cube, not just me, the person way down the hall. (And WTF, gum snapper's neighbors? Grow some cahones and say something, please!)

Got any annoying office behavior to share with me?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Only in Texas

I was reading this morning that a small Texas town will be allowing teachers and school staff, who have a license and crisis training, to bring firearms to school. At first, I was like "Here is my next WTF? Wednesday!" But then as I read further, it started to seem like an idea I might entertain if I lived in this town.

The school is in an area that takes emergency responders 30 minutes to reach...and with all the things that happen in schools these days. Well, what do you think?

Here are a few links to the story:

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

"What the F*ck?" Wednesday

I like sausage, but this is ridiculous. WTF is up with all the sausage at my HEB? These are 30' coolers filled with nothing but sausage....60 feet of sausage! Where are all these sausage eaters coming from? Am I the only person not eating sausage on a regular basis?

The real "WTF?" part is that the teeny, tiny cooler of chicken was only like 6' long.

Monday, August 11, 2008

No More Debbie Downer

The last 10 days were total crap. Just ask my husband...who has been forced to deal with all of my blubbering, waxing philosophical, and general bitchiness, in addition to his usual man-of-the-house duties.

But look what he did anyway! These showed up on my desk this afternoon and made it the best Monday ever. Somebody SO knows how to get laid.

Quit seducing me, Starbuck's!

First, they infiltrate my building. But they don't make Mocha Frappacino's because of the noise factor, so I haven't been going down every day. So, they intice me with a drive-thru just a few blocks away. And now, they are pulling this crap on me.

The guy at the window lovingly handed me my receipt and said "If you come by after 2:00 today, you can get that frappacino for only $2.17."

Damn you, Starbuck's, and your delicious 500-calorie drinks that are only $2 after 2:00!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

"What the F*ck?" Wednesday

I am walking into the building from lunch today, and as I scan my badge to open the security gate, the very large man coming in the gate next to me looks over and says, "You look like candy."

Me: (confused face, followed fairly quickly by dirty look)

VLM: I mean you look like one of those candies. The peanut butter ones.

Me: (F-U look) Oh, okay. haha

Me in my mind: What the f*ck, VLM? Why would you say that to me? Don't you know I can never wear this jacket again without thinking I look like a peanut butter bar? Do you realize I JUST bought this jacket and it wasn't cheap? WTF is WRONG with you men?!


Peanut Butter Bars:

I really don't see a resemblance.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Hurricane Tuesday

So here I am on the 35th floor of my office building waiting for a tropical storm. I stopped on the way in and got the biggest mocha frap available (with no guilt over the calories or the $5.00) and our EVP sprung for pizza for all of us knuckleheads who showed up today.

So far, this is the best day I've had in a week. (wood knocking goes here)

Monday, August 04, 2008

WTF Weekend

I have just come off the weekend from hell. Ever been through a series of events that just made you sit back and say "WTF is going on around here?"

Thursday: Went to meet friends for a glass of wine after work. Within five minutes of sitting down, manager comes over to tell me that my car was involved in an accident. The valet moved my car, left the engine running, and forgot to put the car in park. So, it rolled out in to traffic and t-boned a car driven by a woman who is 9-months pregnant. She left the scene in an ambulance.

Friday: Put down Ms. Chatelaine, a kitty I've had for 15 years. My husband and I agreed it was the right thing to do, but I kept thinking he would get too busy to take care of it. I was wrong.

Saturday: Get an early morning call from good friend. Her boyfriend was killed in a motorcycle accident late Friday night. Spent several hours getting a grasp on that information, then spent several hours at her house, trying to be supportive.

Sunday: Attend a Wiggles concert. No alcohol served.

So, I'm in a bit of a trance today. I want to cry...and I can't get "Big Red Car" out of my head. Will the torture ever end?!

Friday, August 01, 2008

Don't eat the Beaver Balls

This will be hard to believe, but it tastes worse than it looks.

My coworker was all like "it's so's like a donut hole but filled with chocolate." I took one bite and have been sick to my stomach ever since.

Beaver Balls = Not good.