Please notice that you can only give this to drunks ages 3+. Younger drunks might choke on the small parts. So anywho, I can't get this thing away from Anabella without an all-out fist fight, so I let her take it in the car for the ride to school Wednesday. She refuses to hand it over as we get out of the car, so I figured I could distract her once she got into her classroom and sneak away with it.
Well as soon as we hit the door, she starts showing everyone her treasure. I panic and start bargaining with her, promising to give it back after school, maybe it would be accompanying some ice cream...but no. Her teacher walks over and says "It's okay. She can do a little 'show and tell' today.
F*CK! So, I smile and leave. Luckily it just says "Saint Vivian" on it...no big deal, right? I am sure the folks at the church will find this all very amusing. Or maybe there really is a St. Vivian!
I jump on Google when I get home, and sure enough, there is a St. Vivian. She was a "virgin and a martyr"...and the best part..."because St. Vivian is in one story represented as having been locked up with mad people, she has been honored as a patron of the insane and epileptics."
What a lovely show and tell!
Saint Vivian has been banished to the junk cabinet, but at least she has the bulldog dinner bell and some old flasks to keep her company.
7 comments:
OMG... That's hilarious!!! Well at least she found a good home now with the old flasks!!
Seems like there's a saint for everything, why was she locked up with crazy people?
At least none of the kids could read that she was the patron saint of hangovers...
You're a mom dealing with two kids in diapers it would be much more practical to have a Patron Saint of leaky diapers.....leaky diapers that get sh*t all over the place at the most inconvenient of times. "Oh, Saint Elmo, please watch over and bless this diaper as we go to church today so that it may stay in tact and not explode crap all over the parishioners who want to hold my baby. Amen. P.S. Was St. Elmo's Fire about you because that movie was crappy. Can't you use your saintly powers to make it disappear?"
I think that people who wear a lot of white especially white pants need a patron saint to pray to to keep it all clean.
Those poor two year-old drunks, they get no relief from the hangover pain!
(FYI, I've moved to http://www.suburbanjuggernaut.com)
awwww, what a sweet show and tell.
One of my favorite posts ever.
Still laughing...
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