Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"What the f*ck?" Wednesday



Dear Mr. Scooter Rider:

WTF are you doing on the freeway in the middle of rush hour, IN THE FAST LANE, on that effing thing?? It was irritating enough when we were in bumper-to-bumper traffic and you kept messing around with the strap on your helmut and nearly falling off every 10 feet. But when we broke free from the pack -- and you couldn't go over 45 MPH -- well, let's just say my road rage nearly got the best of me.

It would have been totally wrong to gently bump into you with my SUV, but at least my blood pressure would have been back to a normal level.

Please stop kidding yourself ... that is not a motorcycle. It's a glorified moped. And you ride your moped to the neighborhood pool and back. Just like I did when I was in high school.

P.S. If this is your mid-life crisis, you really missed the mark.

P.P.S. And don't let me catch you in anything leather.


10 comments:

KB said...

No juror with a driver's license would convict you if you had gently bumped him...or just run his slow a$$ over!

Dan said...

Why are you taking pictures while driving?!

Brian o vretanos said...

When I have my mid-life crisis, I'm going to get something large and agricultural to drive. If you're going to piss people off, then do it properly, at 10 mph with hay and manure flying off your wheels. Especially here, where many of the roads are single lane...

Trix in the Stix said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm... Asshole!

David said...

Brian, I can only say that I am greatly pleased that I don't live anywhere near your location - not that there is anything wrong with it....well, except those farm implements blocking all traffic and flinging farm feces at any and all.

Bijoux said...

I, too, would have been hella annoyed by him.

omar said...

Funny story. My coworker is a huge scooter fan. His desktop background is a picture of his scooter. One day, we had a visitor come into our area. She looked at my coworker's screen, and she said, "aww, how cute! What does it want to be when it grows up?"

It was hilarious. Probably funnier at the time than I'm making it sound now. Dude was pretty embarrassed, and she was everyone else's hero.

Rhonda Sloan said...

KB - I wish I would have known that sooner.

Dan - Mind your own business. At least I wasn't texting ... or riding a scooter.

Brian - You are going to be fun when you are old.

Kim - Exactly.

David - I second that. But only because I would for sure kill someone on a single lane road.

Cocotte - I knew I liked you.

Omar - Sounds like someone lost a little of his manhood that day.

M@ said...

my wife always used to call something we had that looks similar a motorcycle. You know what, if it doesn't go VROOM, it ain't no motorcycle.

I'm convinced that people in Texas don't understand the whole pass on the left, drive on the right thing. One of the more frustrating things from living in Houston.

Jean Knee said...

just picturing that guy in leather will haunt my dreams tonight.

thanks for that