"What the f*ck?" -- Christmas gift edition

I have spent the last three days in malls and stores across Houston (because I hadn't done jack crap to prepare for Christmas until last Saturday and this is how I like to punish myself) and have seen some redonkulous stuff passing itself off as Christmas gifts. Here are just a few of those "WTF is this?" gifts:

This thing was huge. Look how tiny the disposable cameras are in comparison. If you need a remote this big, well, can you really even see the TV anymore?

No. This is just wrong. Period.

I know some people are really hard to buy for, but give me a break. Get a gift card.

Gross. Would anyone ever touch the "butt" side now that it is clearly labeled?

I can really only think of one person that this is appropriate for -- and Jesus isn't into bling.